Safeword

What is a Safeword

One of the most talked about features of the BDSM community is the existence and usage of the Safe Word or Safe Call or Safe Sign. For a new Dominant and new sub this seems easy, convenient, essential to the creation and sustaining of free will, consent, personal integrity etc. There are lots of reasons and issues which propelled the existence of the Safe Word in the BDSM community. Many were quite valid and useful to distinguish the community from its ugly cousin "physical abus"'. The issue of consent being the bottom line.

Common Safewords

Are words like "red" (I'm in serious trouble), "yellow" (I am having some difficulty. Slow down!) or "green" (No problems. Go faster!). When someone is gagged or would otherwise have difficulty speaking a squeaky toy can be used to signal. Some submissives like to hold on to something, like a ball, and when they drop it that is their "red" signal.

Not using Safewords

There are some people who do not like to use safewords. They have a variety of reasons but generally seem to be based around the concept that "if you really trust someone, you can trust them to know your limits, without needing words."

Spanking Safewords

Safewords are of two types , one to slow down or the second type to stop . " Mercy " is the most popular word to slow down . Words to stop generally mean either to have break or to stop the session permanently . Stopping permanently presents the spankee with the dilemma of not being satisfied with the spanking verses the pain of the moment . If the one for stopping is used , the spanker is bound to stop .

Just as the spanker is obliged to stop when the  word for " stop " is used , the spankee is bound to only use their safeword in earnest . If they flippantly use these words they may ( deservedly ) end up with a harder spanking than they had planned on . It is also on their own head ( and bottom ) if they do not use their safeword as required.

Understanding is an important part of any relationship. Safewords offer a way to increase the understanding quickly and easily, as well as making it safe to play with issues of non-consensuality. As such, they're incredibly valuable and shouldn't be something to feel ashamed about needing to use.