Domination & submission - BDSM

Domination and Submission (also known as Dominance and submission, D&s, Ds or D/s) is a set of psyommchosexual behaviors, customs and rituals relating to the dominance of one individual over another It is considered part of the BDSM   group of paraphilia.

History

Dominance and submission actually predate homo sapiens, and in fact it could be supposed that shortly after the second species of life evolved, one began to dominate the other.

But our concern here is D/s of an erotic nature, which can be hard to document especially in cultures where one gender or another is presumed dominant. It can be hard to tell if one submits because it is pleasurable or for more practical reasons, such as food and shelter.

Myths

Common myths about domination & submission

• Dominants are naturally cruel people.
• submissives are naturally weak-willed "doormats."
• submissives are attempting to re-live childhood abuse.
• Women who are into D/s are nymphomaniacs, or indiscriminate sex partners.
• D/s is usually a case of "role-reversal" with people who have much power and responsibility in real life often preferring a submissive role.

There is little or no factual evidence to support any of these concepts; submissives and Dominants come from a broad spectrum of society and most people into BDSM are very selective about who they play with. Considering the risks, this is not surprising.

There is no evidence that people into D/s or BDSM have any greater history of childhood abuse than the general populace.

Master/slave

In casual D/s relationships the sub only submits occasionally and with definite short-term goals, perhaps for an evening or the duration of a party.

In longer, committed relationships many people opt for the Master/slave model, in which consent is negotiated once for a long period and the consent given is generally broader. Slave contracts are often negotiated for a one year term, but longer and shorter terms are possible, lifetime contracts are rare but not unknown. Where the contract is in effect continuously, the relationship is referred to as "24/7". The limits of the slave contract can vary widely and extend into other areas of BDSM . Some people opt to be purely "sex slaves", while others who prefer domestic service identify as "service slaves". Some slaves allow their Masters or Mistresses complete latitude as to the demands that can be placed on them. Such a relationship is known as Total Power Exchange or TPE.

People usually only enter into a Master/slave contract after they have known and played with each other for some time, often several years. It can be one of the most difficult relationships in the BDSM world to maintain, and requires special skills and experience.

Domination & Submission Relationship Styles

There can be any number of partners in a domination & submission relationship, with one Dominant sometimes having several subs, who may in turn dominate others. Relationships with multiple Dominants and a single submissive are rarer. The most common combination is a single Dominant and submissive couple, often in an ongoing committed relationship. Romantic love is not necessarily a feature in D/s, partners might be very much in love or have no romantic relationship at all.

Collars

Many submissives and slaves wear a "collar" to denote their status and commitment. It can be much like a wedding band, except that only the submissive partner wears one. The traditional collar is a neck band in leather or metal, chosen, designed or even crafted by the Dominant partner. Some subs wear a "symbolic collar", often a bracelet or ankle chain, which is more subdued than the traditional collar and can pass in vanilla (non-BDSM ) situations. It is not uncommon for a sub to have several collars for special occasions.

The punk rock and goth subcultures have also adopted collars, as a purely fashion item, so one cannot assume that all people wearing collars are involved in D/s or BDSM .